- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
estherkimtoo
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Name: Esther
Gender: Female


Interests: xangaME davisME EsthErKIMtoo


Message: message me


Member Since: 2/27/2003

SubscriptionsSites I Read

Blogrings
ClaRk'S GaY
previous - random - next


Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Eyes Open (remember my name)- Mr.A-Z

Keep your eyes open as if
love could come a walkin as if
everything else is meaningless, meaningless
and that's the way it ought to be
mysteries, expecially she
oh everything else
is almost meaningless, meaningless
oh say
well i will always feel that way
and if a time a change should come
you'd remember my name
oh say
well i will always fell that way
and if a time a change should come
you'd remember my
you'd remember my name

Keep your eyes open as if
everyone's a poet as if
everything else is meaningless, meaningless
and that's the way it ought to be, yeah
mysteries, including me
oh well everything else
is almost meaningless, meaningless
oh yeah, oh say
well i will always feel that way
and if a time a change should come
you'd remember my name
oh say
well i will always feel that way
and if a time a change should come
you'd remember my
you'd remember my
you'd remember my name

to be a little bit advanced
you gotta take a little bit of a second chance
on life
you gotta get on up and dnace
you better throw all your precious plans
better wave them goodbye
a buh bye, buh bye, bye bye bye
ya gotta keep your eyes open
as if everything else is just along
come along on its way
and that's the way it ought to be
well mysteries in everything
well i say, i say
well i, i will always feel that way
and if a time a change should come
you'd remember my name
oh say
well i will always feel that way
and if a time a change should come
you'd remember my
you'd remember my
you'd remember my name


Monday, July 24, 2006

You live, you learn

One of the classes i am currently taking in summer school is a class on social and personality development. I am actually taking two classes on it and both classes overlap one another. One class is more about development from a biological stand point and the other is more related to psychology.
Going back in time, one thing that i remember is talking about how much people have changed since we left them in highschool. Of couse, i was fully aware of the fact that I, myself, have changed tremendously as well within the last couple years. My freshmen year in college, i stood outside my dormroom, late at night, and i recall having a smoke with a friend, named Mr. X (who shall remain anonymous) and chatting away about life and our college experience. Mr. X, being a third year at the time, was sharing with me the pearls of his wisdom. He told me something that i took very lightly at the time. He was talking about his roommates and the usual "hang-out" buddies, which were his friends from back home that had come to Davis with him. He told me about how he found himself as being  different from the rest of them (he eventually realized in his years here). He said that his friends and he shared little common interest. He said that only thing that actually tied him down to the crowd was the fact that he knew these people from back home. He said the two words that have not left my mind since then: Obligated friendships. It's not that he hated them. It's not that they were uncool to him. It's just that it was silly for him to stay with a bunch of people he did not really match with simply because they were from his hometown.
In class, the professor preaches about the facts that people change when they get older. Adolescence is never an easy time for anyone. And while we feel that we made great friends during jr. high, and highschool, we were ultimately obligated to be friends. I mean of course you would be, school forces you to interact for 7 hours a day, 35 hours a week,  minimum. You find yourself a group that you most closely identify yourself with, and it eventally become a part of your life, not necessarily by choice. Stereotypes are formed because Jocks want to hang out with other jocks, just like how cheerleaders don't congregate themselves with the nerds who carry the roller backpacks.You say that i'm wrong and argue with me that this isn't true, that you were a cheerleader and you did have a friend who had a rolling backpack,  but realistically, in everyone else's case, it is true. I don't think you really know what you are until you have the freedom to be yourself. For most people, this is established in college. In college, nobody forces you to go to class.
Nobody makes you talk to your peers. You just listen to lectures and get the hell out of there once it's over(of course, if you're the type that does not socialize with strangers very well...) I guess what i'm trying to say, is that if this is all just a part of natural development. You live, You learn... move on.


Thursday, July 20, 2006

MISSING ROLL CALL

So where the story begins.... it begins yesterday afternoon when i was swimming at the pool with a couple of my friends. It was a hot day so on the way to the pool, my roommate suggested that we picked up some beers. Armed with a twelve pack and on the way to the pool, we were ready to wrestle the heat and tap the rockies. The pool was overflowing with water at all sides.  It was nice. I had a couple of beers in the pool which is not a good idea because slowly i started getting incredibly full  and uneasy cause of the water pressure squeezing my tummy which did not let the beer in my belly settle down (this sentence doesn't make sense...).  Anyway, after swimming, we picked up some food at carl's jr slash green burrito. I ordered nachos. when i got home i couldn't stomach the nachos and as soon as i know it i'm hugging the porcelin. I did not eat the rest of the night until i got a craving for some GOL BANG YI (sea snails?). I ate a whole bunch really late at night just before i slept. This was also not a good idea because i got sick in the middle of the night. Woke up around 5:30 squeezing the pillow in between my arms, tossing and turning, bunched up in the fetal position, i slept again. When i woke up a second time, I was already too late for school. This is how i missed role call. to make up for it, i decided to do some school work early. But seeing as how i'm updating xanga, i guess i'm not doing so hot.... feeling the pain in the pit of my stomach, makes me want to crawl back into my bed to squeeze that pillow inbetween my arms again. >Snap! bANG wake up...<


Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Currently Listening
Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
By Arctic Monkeys
Mardy Bum
see related

Transamerica

Last night i fell asleep just after watching TransAmerica. While feeling a little lifted by the storyline and the thickness of the underlying moral, I'd have to say "that movie was pretty fuckin weird." I remember a couple of weeks ago, my friends and i were on our way to santa barbara. To kill time on the 101, we decided to play a game we used to play in highschool, called perversion. If i think about it, the game actually has nothing to do with what it is called. So how it goes is, we take turns saying (describing) the nasty most sickest thoughts we can possibly think about. The next person simply has to top it. While many things came out such as having sex with a cow, and diarrhea juice getting splashed in your face, the game ended with the ultimate "having a threesome with both your parents." (Who the hell are these kids!)  Well the only reason i mention this is because i believe that coming on to your parent of the same sex who is a transexual is probably gonna top the threesome with both your parents. If you disagree i highly suggest you watch TransAmerica. You will see what i am talking about.



Monday, July 17, 2006

Summer TIme

every morning i find myself waking to the rising temperature of my full sized mattress. the room keeps getting hotter and i am feeling lazier. I close my eyes in hopes of sleeping in even later. Today is no exception. It's 11:32 in the morning and it is unbelieveably hot despite the high setting on both of the fans in my room.  Davis is no better than a desert.
On saturday i have gone to yet another jason mraz concert. This time it was much more awesome because i got to stand less than five feet from the stage, less than ten feet from the man himself. It seems a little childish to have such a crazy obsession with a celebrity at my age. But i justify myself by constantly reminding me that it's the music that i am obsessed with and not the white boy. It seems as if i become this crazy lunatic that keeps staring out into space and forcing myself to day dream about meeting Mr.A-Z and spending quality time with him, discussing music, life, and what not, naked.  As it has happened before,  it's a phase and it will pass. Too bad i can't provide picture for you yet for i could not take my camera with me as it is broken and currently at the canon factory for repairs. But  a couple of the other friends i had gone with that evening do have some fancy pictures and videos. Once they get uploaded onto the internet somewhere, i will definately steal them.
As for now, continuing on with my laziness, i am updating my xanga and cutting short the amount of time i leave myself to get ready and eat before class. Heat is exhausting. Way to go(!) for another day in the bright sun and the scorching heat.